SCRIMMY'S ORIGIN STORY

Chapter 1: The Storm Drain

It was a dark and stormy night (cliché, I know, but bear with me). Norsh was walking home after a long day of doing absolutely nothing productive when they heard a faint *meow* coming from a storm drain. At first, they thought it was just the wind, or maybe the voices in their head acting up again. But then, they heard it again: *meow*.

Chapter 2: The Rescue

Armed with nothing but a half-eaten burrito and sheer determination, Norsh pried open the storm drain. Inside, they found a tiny, soggy kitten with eyes that glowed like two radioactive jellybeans. The kitten looked up at Norsh and said (in perfect English), "Took you long enough." And thus, Scrimmy was born.

Chapter 3: The Bond

From that day forward, Norsh and Scrimmy were inseparable. Scrimmy quickly established dominance by knocking over every glass of water in the house and demanding tribute in the form of tuna. Norsh, being the chaotic gremlin they are, decided this was the perfect partner in crime for their world domination plans.

Chapter 4: The Legend

Today, Scrimmy is known as the Supreme Feline Overlord, ruler of all they survey (which is mostly just Norsh's apartment). Their origin story has become the stuff of legend, whispered in dark corners of the internet and scribbled on bathroom walls. Some say Scrimmy is still out there, waiting in storm drains for their next victim. Others say they're just napping on the couch. Both are probably true.